Mississippi Squirrel Revival

Well, I stuffed him down in an ol' shoe box, and punched a couple of holes in the top
And when Sunday came along, I snuck him into church.
I was sitting way back in the very last pew, showing him to my good buddy Hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk!
 

What happened next is hard to tell, some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see
As the choir sang "I Surrender All", the squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls
Harv leaped to his feet and said "Somethings got a hold on me!"
 

The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self Righteous Church,
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting "Hallelujah"
Well, Harv hit the aisles a-dancing and a-screaming
Some thought he had religion, others thought he had a demon,
And Harv thought he had a "Weed-Eater" loose in his "Fruit-of-the Looms"
He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and the squirrel ran out of his britches leg
Unobserved to the other side of the room.
 

All the way down to the "Amen" pew where sat Sister Bertha better than you
Who'd been watching all the commotion with sadistic glee.
Oh, you should have seen the look in her eyes,
When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said "LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME!"
 

As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She began to cry and then to confess
To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.
 

She told of gossip and church dessension
But the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life
AND STARTED NAMING NAMES !
 

The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self Righteous Church,
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting "Hallelujah"
 

Well, seven deacons and the pastor got saved
And twenty-five thousand dollars got raised
And Fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot!
And even without an invitation, there were at least five hundred rededications
And we all got rebaptized whether we needed it or not
 

Now, you've heard the Bible story I guess,
How He parted the waters so Moses could pass.
Oh, The miracles God has wrought in this old world
But the one I'll remember till my dying day
Is how He put that church back on the narrow way
With a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel.
 

The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self Righteous Church,
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting "Hallelujah"
 

The day the squirrel went berserk, in the First Self Righteous Church,
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival
They were jumping pews and shouting "Hallelujah"